Big or little....decisions are everywhere in our lives. They can haunt the back of our minds as we move through the day or be one of a million we make subconsciously.
The ones that drive me crazy are the little ones that become big and cause angst and churning. Personally speaking, when I have a big decision I'm grappling with I find myself getting bogged down in little ones - like what to wear, or what to make for supper. Easy enough, right? Yes, unless indecision is weighing me down.
My solution? It always comes down to a list (What did you expect? I'm an organizer - I thrive on lists!). In this case, a brain dump of all my thoughts regarding the decision at hand. Paper, white board, post it notes (these are really my favorite), word doc - whatever tool appeals to you - and then dump all your thoughts regarding the decision. Actually, all thoughts in general - the "to do" tasks and thoughts of daily living - need to come out, too!
Then I divide the list into pros and cons - which is why post its are my favorite method - they can just be moved around on a wall and, voila! You have a visual of the struggle going on behind the scenes in your brain. Highlighters can also be helpful to distinguish pros and cons - color adds another dimension to the visual decision making process.
"It doesn't matter which side of the fence you get off on sometimes. What matters most is getting off. You cannot make progress without making decisions." - Jim Rohn
How do you make weighty decisions? Do you have a tool or process that works for you? I'd love to know more - please share in the comments below!
Six people, 2 dogs, and life spent travelling, working, and living. While this lifestyle may not be for everyone, Bryanna of Crazy Family Adventure shares her insight into how to do more with less and enjoy life along the way. She talks of how we have to identify our wants and our whys - and not lose sight of our priorities.
Here is a snippet from one of her latest blogs titled, "How we manage (or don’t) running a business, being parents, and traveling full time." You can then head over and read more at her site!
"We have learned how to simplify our life by having less things. We are deepening our family bond by spending a lot of time together and will continue to push to make this our top priority. We will also keep a pulse on our business and the blog to make sure we don’t take on more then what we WANT to do.
The best advice I can give (for you and for me to read everyday!) is don’t lose sight of what you WANT to do in your day. Don’t lose sight of your priorities and make sure to catch yourself from going down a route that is going to back you in a corner (like having to work more to make more money because we are spending too much!).
Our WANTS and our WHY (to deepen our family bond) for traveling full time have helped pull us in multiple times to realign the direction we were going. We are living our live the way we WANT to not the way someone else or society tells us. But man, that pull is always there!" Keep reading more at her blog!
We live in what is considered a “throw away culture” yet storage units are everywhere! Is it quantity over quality? I estimate that 95% of the client storage units I’ve been in have been delayed decisions – the clients all knew what needed to happen with the items inside, but they couldn’t bring themselves to take the next step.
I'm not the only one who sees this throw away culture. Jim Gaffigan gives us some spot-on insight into this trap we've set for ourselves. Take two minutes (actually 1 minute 58 seconds) to watch his views on the subject.
Are you holding on to a storage unit? What’s inside? Have you ever figured out what the unit is costing per year and then salivated over what could be done with that money instead? What’s keeping you from taking action on emptying the unit? Inquiring minds want to know – please share below!
So, there's these slippers. Slippers that are well loved and worn thru on the soles. I knit them about 7 years ago, and then felted them. If you've ever seen me knit you know it's a painful process...shoulders hunched, pure concentration. What should be a relaxing hobby gives me a neck cramp. I've since given up knitting. But that's a story for another blog post....
My daughter keeps telling me I need to give the slippers up, too. They've served me well, and are quite past their prime. I keep meaning to throw them out. And, I....just cannot let them go. I think, "just one more wear" or "tomorrow. Definitely tomorrow".
What it boils down to is the heart and soul, sweat and tears I put in to them. Throwing them out, even after they've served me well, just isn't that easy. They are one of the few material things to which I'm actually attached.
I've learned over the years that often clients need the opportunity to tell the story of an item before they can release it. I feel the same way - now I've shared the story and they can go. Letting go is a process - whether it's material things, emotions, relationships - it doesn't matter. Telling the story helps validate the process and keep us moving forward.
Have a letting go story to share? Please share in the comments below - I'd love to hear about it!
Guest Post by Suzie Kolber
Appropriate Ways to Offer Condolences in the Workplace
You only know Jane to talk to her in the hall between your offices. You may send her an email occasionally about a job-related question or say “hello” in a company-wide meeting once a month. Just last week you heard her father died and you’re scheduled to have a meeting with her in a few days. You’re already feeling uncomfortable because you’re not sure what to say or how to act with someone who just suffered a loss.
Should you bring up the subject at all? Should you offer condolences? Should you get a card or buy flowers? Dealing with such a serious subject with a co-worker can be complicated.
Consider Your Relationship
If you only see Jane in passing and never have one-on-one conversations with her, it’s perfectly acceptable to not make mention of the situation at all. In fact, it may make her feel just as awkward as you. She doesn’t know you well and may not feel comfortable discussing such a personal subject.
On the other hand, if the co-worker is someone you know well and eat lunch with or have regular meetings, you should broach the subject at an appropriate time. Avoiding it will be all too obvious, and it may make it awkward for both of you to talk to each other.
Consider the Situation
If you won’t see the person other than passing in the hall for a few weeks, it may be fine not to bring up the topic. However, if you are scheduled to have a meeting with them a week after the funeral, you may want to offer quick condolences. It could be a simple “How are you doing?” which the person will understand the underlying meaning.
If you arrive at the meeting early, you could say something short and sincere like “I heard about your dad, and I just want to say I’m sorry.” That’s it. No need to say more, but Jane will appreciate your thoughtfulness.
Consider the Method of Offering Condolences
You probably don’t want to talk about the person’s loss in a group situation. If you never talk to the person alone, it’s probably best not to bring up the loved one’s death. On the other hand, you will want to say something if you see them in an individual situation.
One of the best ways to offer condolences in a work environment is to send an email. You don’t have to make a big deal about it, but offer a few words to show your support and to let them know you are aware of their situation. Keep it short and to the point. You may say something like the following:
Suzie Kolber is a writer at obituaries.org, a complete guide for someone seeking help for writing words of condolences, sympathy messages, condolence letters and funeral planning resources.
Tell me I'm not the only one this has happened to - I'm cruising down the road in the midst of a packed-to-the-rim day, glance down, and I'm on "E". Big deal. Stop at the gas station and fill up. Except....the schedule is back to back and that 10 minutes makes me late for a stop, which snowballs the rest of the day. It feels like I'm barely holding on to my grasp on the day.
Who. In. The. World. Doesn't. Have. 10. Minutes? OK - I DON'T. On certain days/weeks, that is. My husband is aghast that I can essentially live in my car and not be cognizant of when it is on, or about to be on, empty.
Time to reflect! There reaches a point where the empty gas tank becomes a neon blinking sign saying that I'm not refueling myself, either. Burning ourselves out so there is nothing left in the tank means there is nothing to give out when working with clients, parenting, being a friend, etc.
I've used the oxygen mask analogy before in blog posts - if you don't put your oxygen mask on first you won't be able to help the person sitting next to you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to use my Daily Calm app to meditate and recharge for 10 minutes!
What are YOU doing to take care of yourself? Let's encourage and support each other. I am doing this by giving away a FREE Strategy Session! Just LIKE this blog post and you'll be entered to WIN!
You know the one. She always has her hair and make-up and clothes and shoes and... oh, you get the point. She is ready. For everything. Her kids always smile. And they must be brilliant because they are forever posing with awards on Facebook. And this mom's house. Wow. Spotless. Her life must be A.Maze.Ing. Just like her.
So.... we all think we know this mom. But I'm guessing that she is about as real-life as Holiday Barbie. This Mother's Day, let's all get real. Stop the envy-induced Mom Crush. Support each other. End the perfectionism. Take more time to lift each other up every day. We will ALL be so much better for it. And if, as in this song, you want that amazingly clean house, treat yourself for Mother's Day and give me a call. We all need a little help!
I'm sure this isn't the first time you've heard Every Woman is a Mother. Women, by nature, seem to have a nurturing side that shines through their interests, passions, and in all they do. These women are mothers to van loads of kids, and they are friends who promote social causes. They are the aunts who dote, grandmothers who spoil, neighbors who help, and teachers who inspire. They are the employees, the service providers, the CEOs. These are the women who surround us - and who help make the corners of our world a little bit better.
Every Woman IS a Mother - and with Mother's Day coming up what better way to honor any woman in your life than by helping her reclaim a space in her home - a spare bedroom that has become storage, a garage that can't fit a car, an office overwhelmed by papers, or a room that needs a few tweaks to function better. A gift certificate from We Love Messes can get her on her way to achieving just what she needs.
Is this a self-serving request? Perhaps a little, I admit! But please also trust me when I tell you that I see first hand the benefits of time women claim for themselves and their passions when their homes run efficiently. And isn't more time a gift every woman (and man) wants?
In case you're a numbers person, here are some stats from a Real Simple survey of 3200 American women:
Contact me today if you'd like to honor the women in your life with a gift certificate from We Love Messes for Mother's Day - or any other day!
I'd love to know how you honor the women in your life - on Mother's Day and every day! Please comment below so we can all get a little more inspired to remember that every woman is a mother.
Ever noticed how valuable time is? Yours, mine, and everyone else's? I thought so!
The other day I had an appointment to sign some papers. It should've been a 15 minute thing, maybe 30 minutes at the most. Instead I was there for over an hour, on a Saturday morning.....because he was talking....about himself. I left there feeling frustrated, and honestly, a little angry. I had to percolate those feelings a bit to get to the root of why I had these feelings.
The reality is that the time in that office belonged to both of us. We are required to share time - even if we do not share the same goals with that time. Every conversation, every interaction, every event where there is more than one person is a practice in time-sharing.
Looking back I see that maybe this person was lonely. Or maybe he was bored. Or maybe he didn't respect me and my time as a client. I'll probably never know, but it helped prepare me for the next time I'm time-sharing, but not necessarily goal-sharing.
Those of you who know me know I'm a "get the job done", no nonsense kinda gal. We all have things to do, places to go, and people with whom we want to spend our time. I also believe strongly in building relationships, and acknowledge that it's a two way street - the middle of your sentence can't be cut off by the beginning of mine!!!
My point you may ask? On a personal level I want the people in my life to know how important they are to me, and truly being present in their presence (kinda catchy, eh?) is one way to demonstrate it. I also know that on a We Love Messes level, it's important that each and every one of you knows how important you are - I'm honored that you've chosen me for your decluttering journey, and respect both your time and resources. And if you need a little help with time management - I can be your co-pilot to get you headed in the right direction!
“But do you mind if I keep that one? And this one? I know attachment leads to suffering– oh, it does; it really does lead to suffering. I know that. I know it. But I’m not quite ready to let them go just yet.” Every time she smiles, her eyes water and crinkle to the point of almost disappearing, sparkling all the more.
Keep reading more from the blog Filling Your Niche to learn how our attachments can lead to our sufferings, if we let them.
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Tammy Schotzko is a Certified Professional Organizer who