Guest Post by Dave Schotzko (My more organized better half) - Ranger Dave lives in Bemidji and enjoys all the outdoor activities Minnesota has to offer. When he isn't paddling his canoe you may find him downsizing his family's possessions, sometimes unbeknownst to them!

We have all at one time looked for an item (tools, equipment, utensils, paperwork) that has been used a hundred times, but it has somehow disappeared. Some effective memory tricks I've used include:

• Grouping similar items together in the same spot makes returning for an item easier as you are likely to open the correct door every time, even if you have not used an item for quite some time. 
• Hanging items on a peg board, nail, or in a clever spot will ensure you can always find an item, as the spot itself will allow you to recall what went missing, in the event of a loss due to others sharing your belongings, or you simply leaving a few tools at your last half finished project. 

All this reminds me of early childhood playing games that tested memory, such as matching cards with the same animal. Whether you paint the wall to show the tool's shape, type a label of the item's name, or even go to the extreme of photographing your area, remembering which item is missing may trigger memory of who last borrowed a piece, or where the item was last used, allowing a quick recovery of the sought after item.

All this talk of organizing reminds me that at this time of year the nuthatches are storing seeds in the crevices of oaks and the squirrels are burying walnuts in the yard. Many have studied this last notion, with the percentage of lost seeds lost only in the tens, when many thousands where HIDDEN!

I'm not sure how the "memory of an elephant" became a popular phrase, but most of us know someone who would for sure go hungry if they had to look for the seed they stored as recently as yesterday!

Guest Post by Chris Oldenburg, author, mom, wife, and Domestic Engineer (according to her coffee mug)

According to authors Charlene Giannetti and Margaret Sagarese, The Roller-Coaster Years, our tweens are facing a three-ring cirucs of sensory overload that leads to:

• Distraction
• Disorganization
• Disinterest

Distracted Tweens
Don’t dismiss the distraction as only an “age thing” that they will outgrow. Giannetti and Sagarese point to roadblocks that might interfere with a tween's academic progress.

• Language difficulties – Subtle differences between understanding oral and written directions
• Spatial orientation – Challenges with writing, reading, and spelling
• Memory – Retrieval skills are not natural, and kids who struggle with memory issues are more likely to struggle in school
• Fine motor control – Handwriting and artwork
• Sequencing – Tweens who struggle with sequencing and adequately estimating time concepts are prone to distracted behaviors

Tweens who show signs of these 5 roadblocks don’t necessarily have a learning or behavior problem, so identifying their struggles helps us to more successfully help them build better skills in these areas.

Disorganized Tweens
Tweens and young teenagers have more on their plates than ever, and you might notice signs of disorganization.

• Consistently forgetting things
• Consistently losing things
• Underestimating the time needed to complete a task
• Seemingly unaware of time concepts in relations to deadlines and expectations

These signs might translate into lost homework assignments, messy rooms, and tardiness for lessons or classes. There are several things we can do to help our tweens become more organized.

• Give them a comfortable, quiet, and distraction free zone for homework.
• Help them learn to make lists. Teach your child to make a list the night before for things that need to be accomplished the next day.
• Teach them to use visual clues. In our home notes for Mom go on the dry erase board, notes for errands on the colorful magnetic pad on the fridge, etc.
• Slow them down with questions. What did you remember to pack in your backpack? What is your plan for after school today? (Avoid questions that can be answered with yes/no because they don’t have to stop and think about their answers.)
• Use timers. This is a huge help in my home where I have one child who seems to be rewriting the concept of time. Instead of a kitchen timer that loudly seems to click “I’m counting and you’re running out of time!”, I invested in one of these funky timers that are visually interesting, but not intimidating.
• Teach your child to prioritize. Academics are obvious areas that benefit from prioritizing, but don’t forget about how this skill relates to chores at home and even time spent on leisure activities.
• Build in buffer zones. If you know that by Thursday there will be a missing homework assignment and daily chores haven’t been done since Monday, set aside specific time each week at regular intervals, before the disorganization hits overload. Check in with your kids, have a family meeting, and even just have your child clean out her backpack.

Disinterested Tweens
The tween years can be the time in a child’s life when you see him appear to lose interest in things he once loved. This can very well be true – his tastes, abilities, and interests are going to change. But how do you know if the disinterest is age related and not lack of enthusiasm for life related?

• Trust your instincts. If you think that your tween is too withdrawn from family or friends, perhaps spending way too much time online, don’t turn a deaf ear to what your instincts are telling you.
• Give your tweens opportunities to spark new interests. Tweens and young teenagers might be reluctant to try new things because they are going through periods of insecurity, but offering and encouraging new opportunities is important to keep your child enthused about life.
• Find new role models. The tween years are also a time when you might notice your tween pulling back from you as she seeks her independence. That is OK – and normal. Just help her find great role models she can turn to when she feels the need for space from you.
• Have your tween teach something new to you. Interest sometimes fades when we don’t think we have anything else to offer. Remind your tween of how much he has to give to his community, friends, and family by encouraging him to take on the role of teacher.

The tweenage years are full of excitement and anticipation, but they can also be full of anxiety, insecurity, and overwhelming changes. These things are true for both our children and for us as parents. Giannetti and Sagarese describe this as a roller-coaster – and I couldn’t agree more. Put your hands in the air, scream into the wind when you feel the need, and enjoy the ride (even if you get a little motion sickness like I do).

- Portions originally appearing in BetterParenting

It's been a less-than-fun couple of weeks here at We Love Messes. You know the kind where nothing major goes wrong, but nothing is really going right, either? Enough issues to deal with that I feel like I have a snarled ball of yarn with many loose ends - the harder I pull at the ends to untangle them the more snarled the yarn gets. Yep, that's how I've rolled lately!

Dishing up some homemade beef and wild rice soup the other night I grabbed a slotted spoon and wondered why I wasn't getting any broth.  Hmmmmm....I can hear you thinking. It should've been obvious, right? Wrong tool for the job!
And that's when my epiphany arrived - 

1. Pay attention to the moment
2. If the tool you are using isn't working, try something else

Turns out some of the people around me witness my struggles and have great perspectives - if I take the time to hear what they are saying to me. Some of the words were hard to hear. But purposeful and not meant to hurt, but to motivate. The following quote from Szasz speaks to the trap in which we might find ourselves, especially as adults. We need to open ourselves to the sometimes uncomfortable opportunities of learning - of finding those tools to do better next time. 

Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one’s self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily. ~Thomas Szasz

And the homemade beef and wild rice soup? Nourishing and tasty! If you'd like the recipe leave a comment below.....I'm off to research some new "tools" for the future, keeping myself open to the learning opportunities before me!

Last year around this time I shared my personal story of aversion to October in "Pink Washing". I am a breast cancer survivor. I know all too well the need for research, treatment, and support of women (and men) like me. But the jump-on-the-bandwagon approach to pink washing - where marketing strategists douse everything in this soft color - is not always what it is cracked up to be.

Just because the can now has a pink wrapper, the shoe a pink lace, the jersey a pink emblem, means zero guarantee that breast cancer research and support is happening. Far too many companies, it sadly seems, wash their products in pink to benefit from the connection we feel when someone is fighting the fight for us. We want to believe they are doing more than benefiting from our medical nightmares. Yes - there are some wonderful businesses and organizations doing their part to legitimately support breast cancer research. But buyer beware.

So the next time you feel drawn to support breast cancer patients and survivors, consider directly donating to a charity that focuses on research, or do something with a local group (check with hospitals - they usually have support groups). Charity Navigator evaluates all non-profit charities and can help guide donation decisions based on your objectives.

What cause gives you pause? Which causes do you love to support?

Time flies! It's been 5 years since I took the Freedom Filer Certification course in San Diego after attending the NAPO conference. A full 8 hours of learning the system, the color coding, and the logic behind a self-purging home, and now business, filing system. In all honesty, I was attracted to Freedom Filer because it mirrored the way I've had my own business and personal filing systems set up for decades.

If you've worked with me or attended a workshop you'll remember that I'm quick to say it isn't products that will solve our organizing dilemmas; it's making the tough decisions about what we are keeping - and I stand behind that sentiment. The Freedom Filer system facilitates not only the question of WHERE to file, but WHAT to file, and HOW LONG to keep it! The color coding is great for those of us visually oriented, and the clearly defined process makes it easy to ask, answer, and take action on all paper questions.

5 years of paper organizing experience between the Certification Course and now has increased my appreciation for the Freedom Filer system. While complex at first glance, Freedom Filer has the capacity to be as simple as minimal folders for personal use right up to expanding into multiple businesses building off the same system. It also has a 90 day money back guarantee. 

Want to know if Freedom Filer will work for you? Email or call me today - let's talk!
Already using Freedom Filer, or another system that you love (or love to hate!)? Please share your experience in the comments below.